POWERFUL WITCHDOCTOR SAYS OTIENO KAJWANG' WILL RESURRECT SOON!! RAILA TO DIE

A 'powerfuL' witchdoctor
from Homa Bay County
has shocked residents
of Mbita Constituency by
claiming that the late
Homa Bay Senator, Otieno Kajwang,
who
passed away on
Tuesday night as a
result of heart attack, is
not really dead. The witchdoctor, who
is
said to have come out of
a forest in Mbita,
chanting and ululating in
a strange language that
nobody understood, said the gods
from Luo
Nyanza had not granted
Kajwang’s wish to die
and therefore he will
live again. Addressing a huge
crowd in the remote
Mbita Village, the
witchdoctor, who also
happens to come from
the same Omolo clan as Raila
Odinga, told Luos
not to despair about the
alleged death of Otieno
Kajwang because all
was well - he will live
again. He noted that the gods
showed him a vision in
which Otieno Kajwang
was addressing a huge
political rally
accompanied by Raila Odinga in
which, he sang
his famous mapambano
hit song two weeks
from now and he can
only do so either
physically or in spirit. He told the
doctors to
hold on to their findings
about the cause of
Kajwang’s alleged death
a little longer because a
big surprise that will shock the
entire
country is coming.

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Al Shabaab full statement refuting claims GOK killed 100 of it's operatives

STATEMENT FROM
AL SHABAAB

We have seen the
absurd claim by
the Kenyan
authorities that
they killed our
Mujahideen who
carried out the
Mandera attack, a
totally baseless
and unfounded
claim.
We confirm that
our heroic
Mujahideen are
safe and didn't
face any attack
whatsoever after
the successful
operation they
carried out by the
grace of Allah.
Claims like these
are only spewed
by the Kenyan
authorities to
cover up their
failure to secure
the safety of their
people and in an
attempt to douse
the raging anger
of the Kenyan
public, after the
severe blow the
Mujahideen
delievered to
them.

Sheikh AbdiAziz
Abu Mus'ab, HSM
Military Spokesman

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BURDEN OF BEING A MAN !!

1. LUO MAN
has four wives,four galfrends.but
loves his neighbours wife the most.

2.KIKUYU MAN
one wife,one galfrend.but loves his
galfrend the most

3.KALENJIN MAN
has one wife,one galfrend.but loves
his wife the most

4.TESO MAN
has one wife,one galfrend. but loves
his house maid the most.

5.LUHYA MAN
two wives,two galfrends.but loves his
wives' sisters the most.

6.KAMBA MAN
one,two,three wives.several
galfrends.loves the barmaid the most

7.KISII/MERU MAN
one wife, many galfrends.he will beat
all of them.

8.MAASAI MAN
two wives,one galfrend.he will love
his cows the most.

9.SOMALI MAN
four wives, no galfrend.loves his
miraa the most.

true or false?

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West bromwich Claudio Yacob red card, Argentina midfielder. Diego costa, hazard score, chelsea 2-0 westbrom

West bromwich player Claudio Yacob gets issued with a RED CARD.  Claudio Yacob was sent off for West Brom after a two-footed challenge against Chelsea striker Diego Costa.

Score updates read as:==> Chelsea 2-0 WBA (29 mins)

.
By Rechity news

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‘al Shabaab’ blamed for murder of 28 Mandera bus passengers

MANDERA (Xinhua) -- Suspected ‘al Shabaab’ militants attacked a public passenger bus in Mandera, northern Kenya, early Saturday, killing 28 people and injured several others, government official and police confirmed.

Mandera East Deputy County Commissioner, Elvis Korir, said initial reports indicate that a team of more than 100 armed gunmen stopped the Nairobi-bound bus and ordered everyone out at around 5:30 a.m. local time.

    "We are told the 100 armed men stopped the bus just after it left Arabia area and all the passengers were asked to come down and divided into two groups of Somalis and non Somali," Korir told Xinhua, adding that the non Somali group was sprayed with bullets.

    "We are also told more than 28 have been killed and many others injured, but we are yet to know the exact circumstances, but we are planning to dispatch a team of security personnel to the scene," the government official said.

Mandera County Police Commander Noah Mvivanda said initial reports indicate the attackers were ‘al Shabaab’ from neighboring Somalia.

He said the attack occurred at a place near the Kenya-Somalia border.

    Mvivanda said the armed militia asked everyone on board to recite the Islamic doctrine and those who failed were shot dead.

    "We have talked to two young ladies who managed to escape the tragedy and they said four police officers were among the dead, but we are yet to confirm," said Mvivanda.

The police commander said an aerial surveillance will be conducted over the area before security teams leave for rescue, given the fact that a similar attack late last year at the area was used as a trap in which eight police officers were killed.

Since Kenya sent troops across the border into Somalia in 2011, northern and parts of eastern Kenya have been hit by a series of blasts, with many targeting local security forces and humanitarian workers.
.

    One dies, another injured in grenade, gun attacks in Northern Kenya

WAJIR (Xinhua) -- One person has died while another was seriously injured in gun and grenade attacks in Wajir town in northern Kenya, government official confirmed on Friday.

Wajir County Commissioner David Rotich said lab technician Evas Mutunga, who was seriously injured in the stomach, died on his way to Nairobi where he was being airlifted for specialized treatment following attacks in the remote town on Wednesday night.
.

    "He had serious gun shot wounds in his stomach and was bleeding so much which made it difficult for the doctors to save his life. He had sustained four gun shots on the chest and shoulder," Rotich told Xinhua on Friday.

He said the second victim identified as Kangethe Ronald who was also injured in the incident was responding well to treatment.

During the Wednesday incident, unknown assailants who were said to be two in number opened fire indiscriminately at a local market in Wajir town and in the process injuring one person.

They then proceeded to the old mosque which is situated a few meters from the market where they again opened fire arbitrarily and injured another person.
         

WAJIR (Xinhua) -- Reserve fuel tank that was targeted by gunmen in Wajir, northeastern Kenya. At least one person was killed and another seriously injured in separate gun and grenade attacks during the incident. XINHUA PHOTO - INGATI STEPHEN



.
Moments later they hurled a hand grenade at the Wajir Kenya Power fueling tank.  The grenade did not, however, hit their intended target as exploded a few meters from the machine.

    Rotich said that the government would not rest until it gets the criminals.

    "It appears the assailants were targeting to blow up the fuel tank at the Kenya Power plant in order to plunge the town into darkness," Rotich said.

    "Fortunately the explosion did not cause much damage," and no one was injured in this attack.

    "No arrest has been made in connection with any of the incidents, he said.

The government administrator warned that they will not allow criminals to disrupt peace and tranquility which was returning to the remote town after attacks witnessed last year.

    "They can run but they cannot hide," said Rotich.

    This is the second time in less than three months that Kenya Power plant is being attacked.

Wajir town had enjoyed relative calm until the Wednesday night incident with no major incident reported.

Northern Kenya has bore the brunt of grenade and gun attacks in the last three years since Kenya sent its troops to Somalia to fight the ‘al Shabaab’ militia group.

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MADEM, HEBU CHOPINI HII TAFASALI...!!

DEAR LADIES! IF YOUR BOYFIE IS A
JALUO...NEVER LET HIM ANSWER
YOUR
PHONE ON YOUR BEHALF NO MATTER
THE
CIRCUMSTANCES*
ONYANGO: Njeri, your cellular gadget
has
intercepted some electromagnetic
waves
and is currently summoning your
attention
NJERI: Ati?
ONYANGO: Simu yako kwisalia. Mtu
anapigia wewe sahu
NJERI: Bado niko kwa shower sweety,
please receive it for me
ONYANGO: Hallo….
CALLER: Njeri..eh, weko? Ne
mwigithania ne
ikomi na emwe
ONYANGO: Your lingual is foreign to
my
cochlea. Please utter alphabets in a
universal manner so that I can derive
sense from this dialogue
CALLER: Kwani Njeri yuko wapi?
ONYANGO: Njeri is currently
interacting
with a hot shower in my master
bedroom
that is located at the artic section of
my
bungalow. She cannot commence
dialogue
with you as her phone is not water
proof
like the one I own which can receive
calls
even while am submerged in my
marbled
jaccuzi
CALLER: Wewe ni nani?
ONYANGO: Yawaa do you have air-
time of
2,000 shillings and above? Any
airtime
below that amount is not enough to
permit me to finish explaining to you
who
I am via the phone as my accolades
are too
numerous. But to comprehend me
better,
visit any booksop near you and
purchase a
book titled “Knowing Professor
Onyango,
the individual with PHDs whose
number
exceeds the mythical lives of a cat”..I
authored it when I came back from
the
diaspora in the previous year
CALLER: Nauliza wewe ni nani kwa
Njeri?
ONYANGO: I am the individual whom
Njeri
surrenders to her fauna in absentia
of
clothing…..
CALLER: Ati umesema nini?
ONYANGO: Yes, I am the individual
who
relays copulative sensations to Njeri’s
pelvic areas
CALLER: Auwiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, ati
umesema nini?
ONYANGO: I am the individual who
exposes Njeri’s lower limbs to mirror
an
obtuse angle, yawaaa. Mimi ndio
boyfriend
yake jowaa. And who are you?
CALLER: Ngai fafa….. umeharibu
mtoto
wangu. Mimi ni mamake Njeri….
ONYANGO: Ohh, I was talking to my
designated mother-in-law, yawaa.
Please
ooze pardon towards my manners
madam
and permit me to introduce myself
properly…. I am the homo-sapien
currently
in pursuit of your daughters’
genitalias
with an aim of detaining her
matrimonially....

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