KBL to introduce a low-priced brand in the market, to counter illicit brews.

Kenya: Battle for a share of the low- end alcohol market is set to go a notch higher. This follows plan by Kenya Breweries Limited (KBL) to introduce a low-priced brand in the market, to counter illicit brews. While there is a ban on spirits sold in sachets, most of these brands have surfaced in rural areas where business is booming.

Nairobi’s newest socialite Corazon Kwamboka is not keen on covering those curves

Following a few weeks of silence, she has unleashed a new set of pictures, which many would say are a little more decent that her previous ones

ken wa maria proposes to lupita

Ken wa Maria has released a new song dubbed Lupita Nyong’o in which he proposes marriage to the Oscar award winning actress. In the song, Ken wa Maria promises to take Lupita to his home in Matuu and together they will bring forth many

Who would resist arest?

A certain police woman on Kiambu road has caught the public eye, not sure whether its for a good or bad reason. The officer in question has her photos making rounds on the internet thanks to her tight skirt.

hurchil becomes kenyas first individual to hit 1m facebook likes

Daniel Ndambuki, better known as Churchill, yesterday became the first Kenyan individual to reach 1 million likes on Facebook.

Showing posts with label JUST FOR LAUGHS. Show all posts
Showing posts with label JUST FOR LAUGHS. Show all posts

Friday, 18 July 2014

KENYAN JOKES, FACTS ~ ALVINA GACHUGU

NIAJE WAZITO,

**********************
Have you Noticed?

1. If you suck one nipple, the
woman herself offers the other
one. And that was the origin of
"buy one get one free"!
2. Everything on a woman's upper
body starts with a "B". Blouse,
Bra, Bikini, Boobs & lower body
with a "P" Peticoat, panties,
pussy...No wonder men suffer
from high B P!
3. Before sex, you help each other
get naked. After sex, you dress
only yourself. Moral: In life no one
helps you once you're screwed.
4. Success is like pregnancy.
Everybody congratulates you but
nobody knows how many times
you got screwed to achieve it.
5. What is the difference between
frustration and satisfaction? What
the Fuck! and What a Fuck!
6. 3 people having sex is a
threesome, 2 is a twosome. So
next time someone calls you
'HANDSOME', don't take it as a
compliment!
7. Life is like a dick, sometimes it
becomes hard for no reason.
8. Practical thought: A husband is
supposed to make his wife's
panties wet, not her eyes. A wife
is supposed to make her
husband's dick hard, not his
life..!
When a lady is pregnant, all her
friends touch her stomach and
say "Congrats!".
But none of them come and touch
the man's Penis and say "Well
done!".
Moral: Hard work is never
appreciated: Only result matters..

image

JUST FOR LAUGHS, BEER

Woman: Do you drink beer?
Man: Yes
Woman: How many beers a day?
Man: Usually about 4
Woman: How much do you pay per beer?
Man: 200/=
Woman: And how long have you been
drinking?
Man: About 20 years, I suppose
Woman: So a beer costs 200 and you have 4
beers a day which puts your spending each
month at 24,000. In one year, it would be
approximately 288,000/=, correct?
Man: Correct
Woman: If in 1 year you spend 288,000, not
accounting for inflation, the past 20 years puts
your spending at 5,760,000, correct?
Man: Correct
Woman: Do you know that if you didn’t drink
so much beer that money could have been put
in a step-up interest savings account and after
accounting for compound interest for the past
20 years, you could have now bought a Range
Rover?
(Man gets pissed off)
Man: Do you drink beer?
Woman: No
Man: What color is your Range Rover.?!
Woman: ( SILENT )

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