Kenya: Battle for a share of the low- end alcohol market is set to go a notch higher. This follows plan by Kenya Breweries Limited (KBL) to introduce a low-priced brand in the market, to counter illicit brews. While there is a ban on spirits sold in sachets, most of these brands have surfaced in rural areas where business is booming.
Following a few weeks of silence, she has unleashed a new set of pictures, which many would say are a little more decent that her previous ones
Ken wa Maria has released a new song dubbed Lupita Nyong’o in which he proposes marriage to the Oscar award winning actress. In the song, Ken wa Maria promises to take Lupita to his home in Matuu and together they will bring forth many
A certain police woman on Kiambu road has caught the public eye, not sure whether its for a good or bad reason. The officer in question has her photos making rounds on the internet thanks to her tight skirt.
Daniel Ndambuki, better known as Churchill, yesterday became the first Kenyan individual to reach 1 million likes on Facebook.
Tunga sentensi ukitumia neno “KUKU”… (15 Mks)
- kuku yule ni mpenzi wa
njoroge.
- l am a KUKUyu from Nyeri
COWnty
- Hi! am Mwangi frm Nyeri.KUKUmiss nayo!
- Siku Hizi KUKU amekuwa
mtamu na mapenzi..nkt!!!!
mayai ya kuku kutoka nyeri
sikuli ngo!
- My husBIRD is so HENsome!
Mwangi amenunua KUKUmanga
- Mundu wa nyomba #alimanga kuku na ugali usiku.
- Mwanaume wa nyeri alimwaga baada ya bibi yake kumwam kukumiss nayo…,
#Adisia
Police: where do u live?
Me: with my parents
Police: where does ur parents live?
Me: with me
Police: where do u all live?
Me: together
Police: where is ur house?
Me: next to my neighbors house
Police: where is your neighbors
house?
Me: if i tell you u wont believe
me.
Police: tell me
Me: next to my house
-Ujinga ni kudhani first born wa
mama mboga anaitwa "mboga"
-ujinga ni kureduce volume ya radio
ndo usome sms.
- Kumwagia plants Tusker eti una
refresh their roots.
-Kukatia dem kwa church hadi una
offer kumlipia sadaka.-Kuenda media house kuomba kazi
yakuosha vyombo vya habari.
-Kupeleka slimpossible compe
turkana.
-Ujinga ni nurse kuamsha mgonjwa
ameze dawa za kulala.
-Ujinga nikuenda Sunday school
boarding. Lol...
-Ujinga ni dem kuvaa tisho ya
nimechill na yet ako ball.
-Haiiiiiya! Ujinga ni kuchana veve na
lollipop, ati ni swag.
-Kusave mpango wa kando ati private
no! Kisha anakutext!
-Ujinga ni kuambia kiwete akanyagie
stori
-Ujinga ni..... Konda wa mat za Buru
kusema "Jogoo mbao,Jogoo mbao"
alafu Mluyha anasema "Nifungieko
pili". Lol....
-Ujinga ni kuapply lipstick kwa
forehead kumake up mind yako!
-A luhya man, fainted outside
Kenchic. A crowd gathered n
someone from the crowd said "give
him water, he will be fine". He
opened one eye n said "toka hapa
wewe. Ningetaka maji, ningefaint nje
ya Nairobi Water Company!!" Lol...
-Ujinga ni kushow Uhuru aende
hague na national anthem inaxema
tukae na uhuru
Bill Gates organized an enormous
session to recruit a new Chairman
for Microsoft Europe.
5000 candidates assembled in a
large room. One candidate was
Njoroge a Kenyan living in USA.
Bill Gates thanked all the
candidates for coming and asking
those who do not know JAVA
programming to leave, 2000 people
left. Njoroge said to himself, “I do
not know JAVA, but I have nothing
to lose if I stay. I’ll give it a try’”.
Bill Gates asked the candidates
who never had experience of
managing more than 100 people to
leave, 2000 people left and Njoroge
said to himself “I never managed
anybody by myself, but I have
nothing to lose if I stay. What can
happen to me?” So he stayed
behind again.
Then Bill Gates asked candidates
who didn’t have a minimum of a
Diploma in Business Management
to leave. 500 people left the room.
Njoroge said to himself, “I left
school at 15, grade 7, but what
have I got to lose?” So, he stayed
in the room.
Lastly, Bill Gates asked the
candidates who do not speak Serb-
Croat to leave. 498 people left the
room. Njoroge says to himself, “I do
not speak one word of Serb-Croat
but what do I have to lose?” So he
stayed and finds himself with one
other candidate.
EVERYONE ELSE HAS GONE.
Bill Gates joined them and said,
“Apparently you are the only two
candidates who have all the
required qualifications &
experience I am looking for and
speak Serb-Croat, so I’d now like to
hear you have a conversation
together in that language.
And……..”
Calmly, Njoroge turned to the
other candidate and in a horse
voice said “We mwega mundu wa
nyumba?”
The other candidate answered
softly but clearly saying “Gutiri na
oru, no gwethera ciana mutu.”
